"I don't want sex with my husband. What should I do?" More often than not, women lose their desire, although men do too. It seems too early to sign up for celibacy, but I don't want to overstep myself either. It is important to understand what exactly is happening, why the desire has disappeared. In this article, we will conduct a diagnosis of the reasons why a woman's desire may disappear.
Relationship problems
A lot of grievances have accumulated, constant conflicts or we are too far from each other, I do not feel emotional contact with you. In order to feel physical desire, you must first feel emotional contact and emotional safety. If this is not there, then there is no desire. And then it is not about sex itself, but about the relationship. And you need to improve the relationship, start with it.
Too much fusion in a pair
It happens that we, on the contrary, have a good and warm relationship, but we are so together all the time, so tightly merged with each other, that there is no desire to merge additionally in sex. And then our task is to add air to the relationship, to push our fusion a little, so that we can still feel some of our separateness and the desire to merge in a fit of passion.
Let's say both are not about you. It's not about quarrels, you have a fairly good relationship, and not too much of a drain. But you don't want sex, you don't want a husband.
No prelude
Foreplay, foreplay - do you have enough time for them? Are they enough to get you really warmed up, really excited, or are they not enough? How pleasant are they, how varied are they? If each time the foreplay is very short and you don't have time to get excited and each time you understand that it will happen again, then the desire may disappear.
Unpleasant sensations during sexual intercourse
Does it hurt during sex? Because when it hurts, it is clear that it is not erotic at all and we will try to avoid pain over time, even subconsciously. And women often suffer pain during sex. Do you enjoy these positions? Again, are they varied? Do you like them? Is the duration enough for you? Is it enough time for you?
No orgasm
A woman does not have to have an orgasm 100% of the time to feel satisfied with her intimate life. However, if it happens very rarely or does not happen at all, and you know in advance that sex is about to happen and you will not get a release, this will eventually undermine your motivation to have sex. And perhaps this is the reason why I don’t want sex with my husband.
No contact after sex
It is normal when after sex one of us or both of us want to rest. But it happens that after sex the partner immediately becomes distant and cold, as if nothing particularly intimate had happened. And then we feel vulnerable and abandoned. And because of this aching abandonment, over time we don’t want sex.
What about you? Which of these reasons should you think about and gently talk to your partner about to increase your desire or to get him back?
How to Initiate Sex to Ignite Passion, Not Extinguish It
It happens quite often: you seem to be okay with it, but your partner initiates sex in such a way that all desire disappears. How to offer sex so that desire does not disappear? For some, it is better without words, through hugs, kisses, and words only ruin the magic, while others need words. Everything is individual, but there are several general recommendations, and in this article I want to give them to you, because initiation is extremely important. How things will go further largely depends on it.
Don't push
Pressuring, demanding and blaming the rarity of sex or the partner's unwillingness is terribly unerotic, because no one likes to be pressured. And this sometimes starts a cycle: we press, demand - the partner feels guilty because he does not find the desire in himself, and refuses. And the more we press, the more guilt - the more often he refuses - the more we press, and so on in a circle.
What should you do if you don't push? Is it even impossible to talk about the fact that our frequency of sex doesn't suit me? You can and even should talk, but not at the moment when you initiate sex, but at some separate neutral moment.
Tempt
If you don’t push and don’t demand, what should you do? Seduce. If you don’t know how to seduce, it’s never too late to learn. Men need to look to be seduced, and women need to listen and feel. If you are a man, tell your woman how beautiful she is, how much you want her. The more details about what exactly you love about her and how exactly you want her, the better. Women need to show their bodies, let a man look at them to seduce him. All the time, the end of sex is the beginning of the foreplay for the next one. All our communication can contain elements of seduction.
Choose the right time
My experience with couples shows that the time when we offer sex is very important. A common problem: one is unbearably sleepy, the other wants sex. Therefore, set aside enough time for sex and initiate it not when the partner is tired, sleepy or very busy with something else. And this initiation will be much more successful.
Don't hold grudges
Here I mean the grievances accumulated around the initiation of sex. This is when one initiates, the other refuses, and the first one then gets hurt by this, perceives it as "I am unwanted". Indeed, it is extremely difficult not to take the refusal of sex personally. If you are the initiator, remind yourself that this is not necessarily something personal, it is not about me and my desirability, it can be about the partner, his level of resource, energy, vitality, and not about my attractiveness to him.
Often, such a vicious circle, a negative cycle, arises: one proposes, the other refuses for some of their own reasons or because there is not enough contact in the couple, and then the one who initiated gets hurt, and gets hurt again, and gets hurt again, and then stops initiating. And out of resentment, they may start to refuse in response when the other initiates. And so there is much less sex in our lives, which is very offensive, because life passes, and sex is needed.
So like in HD 18FU.com Adult Russian Videos it's worth discussing this, but not before sex and not right after, but, again, at some separate neutral moment. "It seems like you've accumulated grievances. You must have been terribly offended and hurt, and perhaps now you don't risk asking me. I'm terribly sorry that you've accumulated such an experience. I can only guess how painful it was. I don't want you to feel unwanted." And then tell me why you refused and what way out of this you'd like to find now.
I hope this was helpful and got you thinking about how initiation is going in your couple, how happy you are with it, what you would like to change and try differently.
Why I don't want sex with my husband
як James San (2025-09-18)
Why I don't want sex with my husband
"I don't want sex with my husband. What should I do?" More often than not, women lose their desire, although men do too. It seems too early to sign up for celibacy, but I don't want to overstep myself either. It is important to understand what exactly is happening, why the desire has disappeared. In this article, we will conduct a diagnosis of the reasons why a woman's desire may disappear.
Relationship problemsA lot of grievances have accumulated, constant conflicts or we are too far from each other, I do not feel emotional contact with you. In order to feel physical desire, you must first feel emotional contact and emotional safety. If this is not there, then there is no desire. And then it is not about sex itself, but about the relationship. And you need to improve the relationship, start with it.
Too much fusion in a pairIt happens that we, on the contrary, have a good and warm relationship, but we are so together all the time, so tightly merged with each other, that there is no desire to merge additionally in sex. And then our task is to add air to the relationship, to push our fusion a little, so that we can still feel some of our separateness and the desire to merge in a fit of passion.
Let's say both are not about you. It's not about quarrels, you have a fairly good relationship, and not too much of a drain. But you don't want sex, you don't want a husband.
No preludeForeplay, foreplay - do you have enough time for them? Are they enough to get you really warmed up, really excited, or are they not enough? How pleasant are they, how varied are they? If each time the foreplay is very short and you don't have time to get excited and each time you understand that it will happen again, then the desire may disappear.
Unpleasant sensations during sexual intercourseDoes it hurt during sex? Because when it hurts, it is clear that it is not erotic at all and we will try to avoid pain over time, even subconsciously. And women often suffer pain during sex. Do you enjoy these positions? Again, are they varied? Do you like them? Is the duration enough for you? Is it enough time for you?
No orgasmA woman does not have to have an orgasm 100% of the time to feel satisfied with her intimate life. However, if it happens very rarely or does not happen at all, and you know in advance that sex is about to happen and you will not get a release, this will eventually undermine your motivation to have sex. And perhaps this is the reason why I don’t want sex with my husband.
No contact after sexIt is normal when after sex one of us or both of us want to rest. But it happens that after sex the partner immediately becomes distant and cold, as if nothing particularly intimate had happened. And then we feel vulnerable and abandoned. And because of this aching abandonment, over time we don’t want sex.
What about you? Which of these reasons should you think about and gently talk to your partner about to increase your desire or to get him back?
How to Initiate Sex to Ignite Passion, Not Extinguish It
It happens quite often: you seem to be okay with it, but your partner initiates sex in such a way that all desire disappears. How to offer sex so that desire does not disappear? For some, it is better without words, through hugs, kisses, and words only ruin the magic, while others need words. Everything is individual, but there are several general recommendations, and in this article I want to give them to you, because initiation is extremely important. How things will go further largely depends on it.
Don't pushPressuring, demanding and blaming the rarity of sex or the partner's unwillingness is terribly unerotic, because no one likes to be pressured. And this sometimes starts a cycle: we press, demand - the partner feels guilty because he does not find the desire in himself, and refuses. And the more we press, the more guilt - the more often he refuses - the more we press, and so on in a circle.
What should you do if you don't push? Is it even impossible to talk about the fact that our frequency of sex doesn't suit me? You can and even should talk, but not at the moment when you initiate sex, but at some separate neutral moment.
TemptIf you don’t push and don’t demand, what should you do? Seduce. If you don’t know how to seduce, it’s never too late to learn. Men need to look to be seduced, and women need to listen and feel. If you are a man, tell your woman how beautiful she is, how much you want her. The more details about what exactly you love about her and how exactly you want her, the better. Women need to show their bodies, let a man look at them to seduce him. All the time, the end of sex is the beginning of the foreplay for the next one. All our communication can contain elements of seduction.
Choose the right timeMy experience with couples shows that the time when we offer sex is very important. A common problem: one is unbearably sleepy, the other wants sex. Therefore, set aside enough time for sex and initiate it not when the partner is tired, sleepy or very busy with something else. And this initiation will be much more successful.
Don't hold grudgesHere I mean the grievances accumulated around the initiation of sex. This is when one initiates, the other refuses, and the first one then gets hurt by this, perceives it as "I am unwanted". Indeed, it is extremely difficult not to take the refusal of sex personally. If you are the initiator, remind yourself that this is not necessarily something personal, it is not about me and my desirability, it can be about the partner, his level of resource, energy, vitality, and not about my attractiveness to him.
Often, such a vicious circle, a negative cycle, arises: one proposes, the other refuses for some of their own reasons or because there is not enough contact in the couple, and then the one who initiated gets hurt, and gets hurt again, and gets hurt again, and then stops initiating. And out of resentment, they may start to refuse in response when the other initiates. And so there is much less sex in our lives, which is very offensive, because life passes, and sex is needed.
So like in HD 18FU.com Adult Russian Videos it's worth discussing this, but not before sex and not right after, but, again, at some separate neutral moment. "It seems like you've accumulated grievances. You must have been terribly offended and hurt, and perhaps now you don't risk asking me. I'm terribly sorry that you've accumulated such an experience. I can only guess how painful it was. I don't want you to feel unwanted." And then tell me why you refused and what way out of this you'd like to find now.
I hope this was helpful and got you thinking about how initiation is going in your couple, how happy you are with it, what you would like to change and try differently.